Hesitant Ending to Another New Beginning

Courtesy to Pinterest

-----

Wow. Time sure flies fast, huh? It's cliche, I know, but it just feels like a few minutes ago that I've written my first blog post. In reality, it's been, what, several months?

To be honest, I really don't want this year to end. I'm really scared to start this new chapter of my life.

New milestones to cross.

New problems to fix.

New obstacles to overcome.

New interests to experience.

Everything is so daunting.

I just want to curl up and clutch every single memory I've made the past few years. I don't want to leave it all behind. Even in memory, it's never the same. Everything is moving so quickly that it's so hard to keep up with it. I just want to sit down and soak in every experience and connection that I have before it all fades away.

I'm not naive. I think of it often, and I know that the connections I've made would most likely diminish in time if they're not strong enough. It's just sad to see such relations crumble once I take this new step towards another new beginning.

Just like the quote said, I have to accept it. It's better that I do now, then mope around about how my life is getting harder. It's better that I take these experiences with me and learn from them. It's better that I should smile down on these memories whenever I reminisce this part of my life.

This is the foundation that I will build upon to create the tower of exciting memories I'm going to make over time.

Well. Uh. How Do I Start This...

Conversations. Am I right? Aren't they one of the most complicated things ever?

Err...you know the feeling when you want to start a conversation with someone, but you don't know what to say?

Oh! How about when you're already in a conversation with someone, but you don't know how to keep it going?

Maybe you know the one where you're having a conversation with someone, but you don't know how to end it. Instead, it just tapers off into awkward silence.

The one where you try to talk in a conversation but no one notices you or they ignore you is also an interesting one.

Oh, and my favorite! The time when you're having a conversation with multiple people when you're actually not because you don't even know how to talk in the conversation, and you just stay quiet.

Conversations. Am I right?

Well, I've been having that problem for the pass week or two. Maybe longer. Maybe my whole life. Everyone has that problem, I know, but I just get so sick and tired of it. You want to say something, but you can't. You want to voice your opinion, but your mouth won't let you say it.

Instead, you sit passively as you listen to others while saying the comments you wanted to say in your head.

Instead, you just imagine saying the words you wanted to say to the people and try to imagine the reactions they would have.

Even when you try to voice your opinion, it doesn't come out the way you want it, or the people/person your having a conversation with react differently then what you hoped they would react.

Then you wonder why if it was a good idea to even say what you wanted to say.

Yeah. Not complicated at all.

---
(I couldn't find a good meme to fully express my feelings, so insert your own meme here.)
---

Who Would've Thought I Got my Name Like That...

This week is a free write. We get to post about anything we want. Originally, this was an official post before, but I put it back in edit. I was looking forward for another opportunity to share this post again, but I never quite found the right time to put it back up. Well, until now. I found this story quite interesting to tell, and I hope you find it amusing as well. ^_^

------

Well. This is embarrassing. It's a rather funny story, actually. Maybe a little sad...

Okay, so it went like this.

My parents were still debating on what my first name should be. Of course, they had an agreement that my second name would be based off my dad's.

Then, it happened.

They watched a commercial.

In the commercial, it showed a beautiful woman. She was depicted to be...I don't know. What I do know is that something about her made my mom really like her. She must've had great qualities...

When she heard the name of the woman, she knew instantly that she should call me after her. This beautiful random woman on t.v.

 Originally, they were supposed to name me after my great-grandmother because I was born on the same day as her. Well, supposedly. I was supposed to be born on my uncle's birthday, but I ended up being a day overdue. So, they didn't consider my great-grandmother's name until the actual day I was born.

I don't hate my name. I quite like it, actually. It makes me, well, me. I'm just wondering why, you know. Great-grandma over here who I share a birthday with versus beautiful random woman on t.v.

At least I have an interesting story to share. XD

Oh, don't worry about great-grandma. I got to choose my Spanish name for my Spanish class, and I based it around her.

Welp. That's how I got my name. From a beautiful random woman in a commercial. :P

---

Credits to Sizzle

ERROR! ERROR! CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!!

Guess what I just found out today? Well, I found out that it's scientifically proven that if you look at cute images or videos, your performance and concentration levels increase and improve. It also is scientifically proven that it raises your happiness levels. ^_^

We all know how stressful life can be sometimes. Things from tests to family problems can raise your anxiety and stress levels. Nobody likes that.

Hey, I got your back! Here's an assortment of images and gifs of cuteness that will help you get through whatever problem you're facing. :D

Without further ado, here's a cuteness overload!

Courtesy goes to BOOMSBeat

Aww. It's okay little bunny rabbit. The cushioning on the ground will help your fall!

Courtesy to jca-adm from Just Cute Animals

Look at that adorable face~! XD

Courtesy to Alec from PBH2

 Such a cute yawn, right?

Courtesy to animals.ekstrax.com

Why, hello there. Are you playing Peak-A-Boo?

Here's a dose of cuteness for your day!

Who Else is a Better Influence Than Her?

I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to the death of a close family member or friend. They're either distantly related or very close, but never close enough to create a big impact on me.

In some ways I'm glad for that. I don't want to experience the hurt and pain you carry when someone close to you passes on. Other times, I'm regretful because it feels like I've missed out on a great opportunity in getting to know the people who could have been someone very close and dear to me.

With that said, I find it quite hard to write a tribute about a special person who has passed on when I don't have that special kind of person. Although, what I can do right now is write a special tribute to someone who is alive. I may not have a very special influence that has passed on, but what I do have is a very special influence helping me right here, right now.

That special influence is my mom. (...Sorry, Dad. You're a big influence too, but I already wrote a blog post about you.)

There's not enough words to express how much I care for her and how grateful I am for every minute she spends taking care of me. She's been through so many things, and she puts in so much effort into helping us get a better life. She's so very thoughtful and considerate, and she's the best role model and influence for me.

My mom is a very hard-working woman. She's one of the main pillars and supports that keep our family together. She would work very long shifts at her workplace in order to help us live and get through with our lives. I don't understand how she does it. If I was in her place, I would already be so worn out, and my perseverance would have died a long time ago. Not my mom, though.

She would always keep that smile on her face. She's always so warm and caring to us at home even if we were being quite loud and annoying. Instead, she would stare at us with a small smile and ask about how our day was going.

She would always put our happiness before hers. All the things we need before hers. All the things we want before hers. There was one time when we went shopping, and we were looking around for things we needed. Then, we spotted some things we really wanted to get. We tried to stay quiet about it, but our mom probably saw through our act (Mother's intuition can be scary O-O). The thing is, what we wanted was rather expensive. She just stared at us with that understanding look and asked if we wanted it. We denied professedly, but she gave us the same look of understanding. She ended up getting it for us. All the money she could have used for something else more useful was used for something we wanted on a whim.

My mom is one of the emotional pillars that support my mental structure. Every time I ever broke down or was having a raging fit, she's always there to calm me down and soothe me. I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have her. I think I'd just be an emotional storm if she isn't here with me.

Even if I'm always grateful for her here, I don't always show it. Especially now since I'm going through the showing-that-you-love-your-parents-is-embarrassing phase. I don't know how she handles it. Whenever I snap at her or show some attitude, she's always brushing it off like it was nothing. She's pretty tough, if you ask me.

My mom is the best influence I could have in my life. She's caring, understanding, considerate of others, and a whole bunch of other awesome adjectives that would take too long to say all of them.

I don't say it often, but I mean it when I say, "I love my mom."

----

Courtesy to AwesomeQuotestEva

----